i love zeebo

the zeebo was that awkward little console that popped up in 2009 like "hey guys, what if we made a videogame system... but like, for poor countries?" (bless its heart). qualcomm and tectoy teamed up to make this weird 3g-powered brick that downloaded games at dial-up speeds while the rest of the world was moving to hd gaming. it had the specs of a tamagotchi on steroids (ok fine, 528mhz processor and 1gb storage), ran mobile-quality versions of fifa and sonic, and somehow thought educational software would be a selling point. meanwhile brazilian kids were like "lol no" and kept playing pirated ps2 games for 1/10th the price. the zeebo's entire business model was "what if we fought piracy... by making something worse than piracy?" shocker - it didnt work. by 2011 it was already joining the ranks of forgotten y2k tech misfires like the n-gage and virtual boy. in 2024, someone decided to revive the Zeebo brand with a new "portable Windows 11 PC" called Zeenix. But the real plot twist? The new CEO’s old transphobic tweets leaked a week before launch. Cue the internet chaos, staff quitting in droves, and the console flopping before it even hit shelves.